We see each other almost everyday but its been 3 weeks since we last took a picture together ):
Havent felt this disappointed in you before. Today made me realise how important i am to you. You know how i felt but you chose to make your friend happy/give him face/save your own face at the expense on the girl you claim to love.
School has started for you and i’m slowly trying to get use to the idea of not having you around to wake me up and not being able to go for our cafe dates as often and not being able to roam the streets/malls aimlessly anymore.
I’m glad i have this whole moon cake roadshows to keep me busy and occupied so i won’t feel so alone. Speaking of moon cake, this roadshow has brought about some unpleasant situations but IMO, its a blessing in disguise. Such poison is detrimental. If it stays any longer in our blood streams, it would probably cost us way more than what we have lost.
After 3 days of working, its rest day tomorrow + i get to go out with my bf! hehe. I can’t wait!
Time to revive this place as i think its getting more depressing! Loving my new shades which i used my hard earn money to purchase!!
Cant believe school’s gonna start for him soon. Boohoo. No more weekly cafe adventures, no more thrice a week gym session, no more walking around town and running errands without any worry or guilt about studies. This is also possibly the last holiday we get to spend together in this way…
On a brigher note, my boy’s finally not a freshman anymore! One year nearer to graduation!
Oh well, lets take things a step at a time and enjoy every single moment with each other. For we do not know what the future has in store for us, so no point worrying right??
Shall end off with a verse i took with me today: “A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you” - psalm 91
A battle i must go through every now and then. I’m tired. I feel like my whole system is breaking apart. Everything in me feels wrong. So So So much is being weighed upon me and its getting more unbearable. I know i have to have faith but day by day, it fades away and I’m back to feeling like shit.
This pain i feel, this weight i feel; when will it ever be taken away. Or do i have to live with it for the rest of my life? The endless worrying, the constant fear; is it ever gonna stop?
I want to leave it all to god. This helpless feeling is eating me from within. No one but him, can help me.
Another dreadful month
#Ndp2014 NE show with my sunshine boy on sat. Weather was sooooo bad but im glad you were with me that made everything bearable! (:
On a more serious note, i hope this is the last time i have to go through this. And i hope i never ever have to make that same mistake again. I trust god has a plan for me and i know he loves me despite all the mistakes I’ve made and hence i trust he wont let me get hurt again. In your most precious name, amen.
I thought i will not have to go through this again. After all, i made many promises, which i have failed to keep. I feel so ashamed, so disappointed. It really isn’t easy, having to battle this emotionally yet again and all i can do is to have faith and leave everything to him.
I will live up to my promise in the days to come. I will. I’m sorry for making the same mistakes over and over again. I will show you how serious i am about putting this emotional pain to a stop. In the meanwhile, please don’t give up on me father, please continue to watch over me and to love me.
In your most precious name, Amen.
An update because this space has been neglected for toooo long!
Finally went out on a date after sooo long. Miss the days where our dates weren’t financially bounded. Not complaining about our dates now cos i know this is just temporal! We’re gonna get more tuition assignments so that we will get to enjoy our dates even more!
Greetings from hongkong qt! Third day here and im missing this boy so much already. Just 2 more days and ill be back. 3 more till i get to be in his arms!!
Ps: gonna give you a call soon! Hehe.
Feeling extremely emotional tonight.
I’ve been experiencing signs which occurs in both scenarios and it scares me. Being alone, being far away from you with all these thoughts is not gonna help. I’m trying hard not to let my thoughts run wild and now, i’m turning to him for help. I really don’t know how this is going to turn out but i honestly hope nothing happens because i don’t think i can go through the whole cycle without being insane.
Being away from you will not be easy and this is definitely making it a whole lot harder. I really hate myself now ):
Dear god, if you can see this, please answer my prayers. Please don’t leave me alone. Please save me from this agony. In your name, i pray. Amen.