Had a mini staycation 2 days ago at compassvale Bow because mama and papa huang were away for a day. It was a short yet sweet few hours with him. Couldn’t really sleep so i just tossed and turned while he was sleeping quite soundly. Watched him sleep for awhile and its really quite therapeutic. Started tearing after awhile for idk what reason (moodswings maybe?) Couldn’t really stop crying the whole time. Wet his pillow with my tears which he thought was my drool. Ended up with red and slightly puffy eyes. Went to bed at about 4 and got up at 10ish on tue to attend class. Even with all those tears, i still enjoyed myself with him. I always do anyway!
Feeling weirdly emo right now and i don’t even know why. Maybe i just get affected when he’s feeling tired/sian or whatever he chooses to tell me. Or maybe its just because of every single thing - Exam stress, money, life, money,Exam stress, expectations, money, Exam stress, expectations. They just go in a vicious cycle.
I know i have to be the understanding gf everyone expects me to be. But i can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness and disappointment that i have to wait forever for my small and simple anniversary gift. I know you have put in so much effort in keeping up with the blog and i really feel touched by it. Being able to really know how you feel about every occasion allows me to reflect upon my behaviour then and change. Some post makes me smile while others make me tear. But everything there shows that our relationship IS real and it just makes me cherish you even more every single day.
Just to make things clear, I’m not upset and disappointed at what you get me, its just, i don’t see how eager you are to give me the gift, unlike how you were at T&Co last year, when you were about to scream at everyone else because they could not find my bracelet and you wanted to make sure i had it before 1555. But then again, maybe its different. That was your first gift to me and it was my birthday so maybe i should not compare? But its our first anniversary so it should hold some weight, no? Oh well. Need to just suck it up and blame my luck that the shipment got delayed or maybe i should blame PMS for making me feel this way.
Now i’ve typed it out, you’re gonna read it soon and you’re gonna get worried and all, but baby, there’s nothing to worry, nothing to talk about. I still love you and thats all that matters.
What a heavy hearted post.